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(2020) solo improvisation for chaosflöte

diaphragma for chaosflöte is a solo improvisation and my song of the breath, one that undulates between uncertainty, persistence, and vulnerability, while musing upon Ernest Becker's frank observation of the human condition: "This is the paradox: he is out of nature and hopelessly in it; he is dual, up in the stars and yet housed in a heart-pumping. breath-gasping body that once belonged to a fish and still carries the gill-marks to prove it." (The Denial of Death)

The main impetus behind this 28-min improvisation set was to reflect upon breathing complications I experienced over the course of 6 months and to somehow express the "meditative" aspect I found with the breathing exercises I practiced every evening, juxtaposed with a lurking paranoia and uncertainty of when this slow-developing illness/recovery would end. I wanted to explore the 'translation' of this breathing experience, which was somehow a stark reminder of my human mortality, into a machine-reinterpretation (in the form of visuals/electronic sound), which at times breathes with me and at other times continues to play without breathing at all.

sound/visuals/performance by Melody Chua

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Full performance below